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where will the well take us next
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Should Asami and Mako get back together? 

44%
30 deviants said Yep! Shouldn't have been a mishap in the first place
32%
22 deviants said Nope...dude he was with the Avatar...come on now!
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16 deviants said Maybe she should get with General Iroh...

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Jin by missmjwilson
Jin
My beautiful, blue-eyed, great-grandbaby. After a week and half of me treating her with eye drops, her conjunctivitis has gone. I was scared, won't lie. 
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Venus de Milo by missmjwilson
Venus de Milo
This is the statue my dad made when he was stationed in Hawaii. 
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Where Does Inspiration Really Come From?

Journal Entry: Sun Sep 21, 2014, 4:18 AM



Hello all! 

Well my life is boring except for workouts. I am seeing better results now, than I did when I was in college going to the gym three times a day, six days a week. Work is work...still scrounging for customers and still helping who  can. I am also reading this book called " Nice Girls Don't Get Rich- 75 Avoidable Mistakes Women Make with Money" by Lois P. Frankel. It is helping me out alot. It's a darn shame that women are taught to basically let men handle all the finances and we are not "great" at math and all that other stuff. I believe women are capable of being financially stable without a man if they don't act on emotion and always consider the long-term and not the impulse. When I was going through my divorce, and hell, even through my marriage, I shopped, I wont lie. I had just graduated college and was working two jobs, and I needed appropriate clothing for my two jobs. I had more money BEFORE I got married. Had I known that  my husband was gonna play the role of gold-digger, I NEVER would have gotten married.  I will admit, I learned very valuable lessons from him and my independence is now considered a threat. Oh well. You have to be prepared for ANYTHING nowadays. You never know when the government is gonna cut spending, if your job is gonna lay you off, if you're gonna get sick, hurt, or in my case robbed...you just have to think like Scar and BE PREPARED. Don't let your emotions make you go broke, young lions! 

And speaking of Lions, my mother and I paid a visit to my father the other day. I have been better about calling him more, because he is getting older and I am not getting nay younger. Alot of things about his side of the family were FINALLY revealed to me when they came to visit us from DC/Maryland (they are really from Detroit).  When my father was a child, his own parents got divorced. His father, went off with another woman. My paternal Grandmother, Bernice, was living in the basement of her sister's house with my father and his sister. My father would get very sick int he wintertime and Bernie didn't want her children to grow up that way. She wanted better for them, so she found my Grandfather, who was living in a beautiful, healthy home to take the children, for the better of their well-being. Well, my father was under the impression that my Grandma just "gave " him and his sister, my Aunt Gwen  up. SO My Dad just really didn't have the greatest attitude towards women. My mom was his fourth wife and he was a bit of a playboy. However, he has built several, beautiful homes and served in the military ( Vietnam). He is a wonderful artist and very, very intelligent. He is also a smart ass, like me, and can cut you down quickly.

When this was finally explained to me, everything finally made some damn sense. I had long gotten over the resentment I felt for him leaving my mom the way he did when I was two, but as I got older I realized that I can't be angry for something that had nothing to do with me. Mom and Dad are two very different people and I am who I am.  They are friends, and he still even flirts with mom. She has her own feeling about certain things, but I have told her that she needs to let it go. What' done is done. When I walked around his house the other day ( he built it) I took pictures of a Venus de Milo statue that he carved from wood, sanded, and painted black topped with a clear coat when he was stationed in Hawaii. There are several other sculptures that he has created. He can also make stuff from formica and marble which is very impressive to me. I get my artistic talent from him, and my love of reading and writing from my mother. I am very fortunate to have yin-yang parents when for years I thought I was disadvantage from coming from a broken home. Also, the fact that I have never had a real "relationship" with a guy considering how old I am made me feel pretty shitty, too, and having jobs that always seem to NOT appreciate my hard work were a kick to my self-esteem.

Having the time spent in listening to him talk about the things he's created, the time he's put into it...how it pleases HIM, made me re-think a whole lot of things.  Whenever I take breaks from writing, it's one of two things: either no one's reading or commenting, or I have a really bad case of writing block. I've had to re-evaluate where my inspiration was coming from. I had to re-watched the many different anime series that my fanfics come from...it was my PERSONAL FEELINGS and reactions to the characters that inspired my writing, in the same manner that my father made a sculpture or a house. It was his own feelings, his own happiness that pushed him to continue. True, it's cool when people like your stuff; it thrills me when I get a request for updates, and   
feedback on chapters. But at the end of the day, what I write reflects what unique images and scenarios are gong thru my mind...and it's my mind alone. You can agree or disagree with what I write and it's okay...it's really okay! Because at the end of the day, it's y happiness that matters.

Even at the job, they try to pressure me with "what the company thins" and all that blah blah blah, and they form cliques and all that utter nonsense. but I am there to share my talent and knowledge with people who may or may not have any idea about skincare and makeup and also help them feel a bit better  about themselves. And as far as money is concerned, no, I don't make what I feel I deserve, but I know I will not be working there forever, being underpaid an unappreciated. There is more out there! 

It's amazing how one little visit opened so  many ideas :) 



  

Mature Content Filter is On
(Contains: sexual themes, strong language and ideologically sensitive material)
Disclaimer: InuYasha and characters are not my property only my OC Natari is. The series and manga is owned by Rumiko Takahashi and others involved. This is going to have some, sexual situations, funky language, urban metaphors, some pairings that may piss the readers off (like I care) other wild stuff ...just like real life. NC-17.

“Blood races to your private spots
Let me know there's a fire
You can't fight passion when passion is hot
Temperatures rise inside my sugar walls…”


WALLS
By missmjwilson

Chapter  3- Boulders

“The glamor boys swear they are a diva…The glamor boys have it all under control…Always dancing and always laughing…The glamor boys are playing the role….”

”Gogo…hand  me my purse…NOW!!!!!”

”Ohhhh…okay…Tata….”

Chuckling, Kagome handed over Tata’s clutch. This had been a true reversal of fortune. Most of the night, Natari had been a stubborn asshole, prejudging the dancers before she had even seen them, declaring them all as prospective  “pretty he-bitches with prisspot attitudes”.

”Ladies , coming out first is the man of all your dreams…he’ll buy you flowers, he’ll feed you candy…and he’ll lick every part of your body…except your toes!” said Jenenji, over the microphone.

”My feet are beautiful!” screamed a drunk, red-haied American chick. Tata and Kagome shook their heads. Desperation was a loss for one’s self-respect, but made equity for the club.
 

”I’ll let him be the judge of that…ladies..please give a warm welcome to …MR. PERFECT!!!!!”

Jenenji gracefully exited stage left. When “Mr. Perfect”, Sesshomaru, in all his statuesque glory, dressed in a sterling grey button down and a pair of black slacks holding a bouquet of pink roses,  appeared onstage, Natari’s  eyes grew wide with amazement, her lips remaining pressed tight.

”The glamor boys never have no money…The glamor boys wear the most expensive clothes…The glamor boys are always at the party…Where the money comes from, Heaven only knows…”

Sesshomaru was greeted with rousing applause and enthusiastic screams. Blowing a kiss to his adoring fans old and new, he tossed the bouquet into the audience.  A mob of horny, unappreciated women dressed in short, tight dresses, clamored down to the floor,  resulting in tearing the beautiful roses to ragged petals.

”Kami…seriously? Gogo, will you just look at that pretty he-bitch prancing on stage? You can clearly see by his teeth and skin he already has enough damn money, and no woman could ever satisfy him because he has a very serious relationship with his mirror,” Tata scrutinized, as Sesshomaru quickly tore his shirt away , revealing very well-defined pecs and abs for a guy who was naturally lean.

”This guy doesn’t look familiar to you?” Kagome urged with a nod of her head, watching Sesshomaru rock out to ‘Glamour Boys’ by Living Color.  Sesshomaru Taisho, the older half -brother of InuYasha was an enigma to many, only opening up to close friends such as Jinenji and sometimes,  Kouga. The fact that he took great care of his appearance, especially the gorgeous, platinum-blonde tresses he acquired from his birth mother, always put his sexuality in question.

”Nai…should he?” asked Natari, shaking her head to the negative, unwilling to admit that this ‘Sesshomaru’ had some pretty slick moves, especially the knee-slide that  resulted in his receiving a tornado of American dollars mixed with yen being  hurled at him.  “I’d remember meeting a guy with hair shinier and silkier than my own.” As Sesshomaru combed his hair away from his gorgeous, delicate face, Natari caught a good glance of the Prussian blue moon tattooed on his forehead.

” I ain't no glamor boy, I'm fierce…I ain't no glamor boy…I ain't no glamor boy, I'm fierce…I ain't no glamor boy…” Sesshomaru sang along with the music, beating on his chest like the Hulk. He hated being assumed a punk-assed bitch because of his beauty. Dancing was his method of proving it. Dancing, was his way of dispelling any and all myths about being snobby, elitist, physically weak…or even shy. There were so many layers of the older Taisho’s cake and no one was ever willing to take a bite.

“That moon smack dab on his forehead isn’t ringing any bells, Tata? You really don’t recognize InuYasha’s older brother? You’re not that drunk are you?” Kagome asked, matter-a-factly, mushing her hand against Tata’s head.  “You don’t remember your  ‘beloved’ he-bitch?”

”He-bitch?” Natari’s mouth dropped to the table. “Gogo…you mean to tell me that oiled-up, silverback, white-haired, pretty  prisspot is that he-bitch Sesshomaru? Sessybear? Sessyshit? Shosho?Fluffymuff? Are you shittin’ me right now?”

Laughing, Kagome nodded her head. “I shit you not.”

”Kuso!” said Tata clapping her hand over her mouth, her lips wet with alcohol.  “He’s strippin’…for real? Of all the people in the world?”

Kagome chuckled. Natari’s eyes were wider than American quarters. ”Are the memories of that ill-fated blind date creeping into that burned-out brain of yours?” she remarked snidely, opening Natari’s clutch to pull out some money. Natari had to blink her eyes a few times….the shock was real. The image of the Sesshomaru that she met eons ago was a far cry from what she was seeing now. It was difficult for her to fathom the sexy, hip thrusting man on stage was a blind date from the past that had gone very, very, left. The Sesshomaru she’d met, was brooding, serious, talking non-stop about buildings and structures and so full of philosophies about life. A snoozefest, but a great kisser nonetheless.
In fact, Sesshomaru had been Natari’s first kiss, but Kagome and InuYasha were none the wiser. It was an unexpected accident that never left her memory and had even set the standard for future kisses. It was that good, so good it resulted in her little annoying nicknames that were a mix of love and hate for the older Taisho. She and “Sessybear”  had pinky promised, smeared with each other’s blood, to never speak of it to others.

” The glamor boys live off their ambition…The glamor boys have it all figured out…A very, very dubious position…When you got no clout…The glamor boys' whole life is a gamble…They might get over or fall flat on their face…But if one does, there's no need to worry…Another G-boy will take this place…”

Sweaty, his thighs and calves burning, Sesshomaru was in his own little world, performing the new routine that would guarantee to make him every woman’s fantasy, every woman’s deep desire, and empower him at the same time. He loved women, but most were intimidated by his quiet demeanor. He possessed the good looks that most women required, according to the female magazines that he had been reading…”research” or what have you, but since exotic dancing was 50% physical attraction, and 50% manipulation of the female psyche, the handsome older Taisho wanted to study consumer behavior ( women’s emotional needs)  so he started watching many episodes of “Millionaire Matchmaker” and read “Cosmopolitan” for greater insight. Sesshomaru even found himself spending time in bookstores wearing  full  Izod and Ralph Lauren ensembles consisting of a button-down shirt, vest, trousers  or polo shirts with nicely tailored jeans . Casual clothes, that could give off an air of professionalism without looking too stuffy. He learned that scent was also very important to women’s memory retention, thus making his cologne choices lean to clean scents like Perry Ellis 360, Jay-z Gold, or Issey Miyake. If he could go back in time with the pearls of wisdom he currently possessed, she would have never got away.

”So, who is this onna you’ve set me up with, ototo?” Sesshomaru asked, sitting in the booth across his younger brother of an Outback Steakhouse. After taking a sip of water, he asked, “And why are we eating Australian cuisine?”

Inuyasha sighed, looking down at his platinum Cartier watch, a graduation gift from his parents. Leave it to Sess to be so suspicious, antsy, and picky.  Sesshomaru, who was usually confident when it came to girls, was nervous. He wouldn’t dare admit it to the hanyou. Sesshomaru had gone through every designer button down he owned, but  settled on a very clingy, sky blue Ralph Lauren v-neck shirt, the sleeves pushed to reveal a very nice set of forearms, and dark jeans from his Armani collection. A platinum Gucci-link chain rested around his slender neck, a  platinum Rolex with a ruby on the 12 spot, glimmered from his wrist.

”I don’t mean to sound ungrateful; but you know that I’m picky,” Sesshomaru continued, trying to maintain his cool stance. He was very appreciative of his younger brother and prospective sister-in law to treat him to lunch for his birthday, but the “surprise” of a blind date, had set him way off guard.

”Calm down, Fluffernutter…today is the day you break out of your usual boring routine, and jump into something new; or maybe even someone new,” InuYasha teased with a wag of his tongue. “Keh, I get tired of Ramen from time to time,; need something different every now and then, y’know?  By the way…did you forget clear all those hentai  sites in your computer’s  browser history or were those left for me?”
   

Sesshomaru, slowly swallowed the mouthful of water that had been resting there. ”Nani? Hentai? What the hell are you talking about?” he asked scratching behind his ear, his teeth shiny from a previous cleaning.  Chuckling, InuYasha shook his head. He loved it when his full yokai brother played the role of the dumbass.

”Bro…you’re a guy just like the rest of us, yokai or not. You ain’t had a chick since that Yura bitch…geez how long ago was that? “ The dark-haired hanyou pressed. “Don’t act like you’ve never had to clean underneath your claws.”

Sesshomaru wrinkled his perfect nose. “So vile…why so graphic, little brother? You need to stop watching Tosh.0.”

InuYasha’s eyes widened, his jaw dropping in mock shock. “Moi, graphic? Vile? Need I remind you aniki, there are still scratches on the wall, dude!  What the hell did you do to that girl???” asked Yasha with wide, caramel eyes. “Kami…I knew you were a closet freak, but gotdamn…the bitch scratched the paint off the wall??? The paint, Fluffy!!!”

”You can’t say shit, little brother,” Sesshomaru chastised , waving a slender, distinguished finger. “There were nights Kagome’s forehead hit the wall, I heard it. I’d hear her moaning, then I’d hear.…’Thump’! Ow dammit InuYasha! Sit boy!”

”Well, we’re half Inus…so I fucked her doggy-style…missionary is for the weak,” InuYasha answered with a wave of his hand, reclining back against the booth. “Or have you not tried it yet?”
 

”Kudasai ototo, the things I did with Yura would have been illegal in the Red Light District…but back to you, you vicious beast; do you not remember the days of us putting spackle on the holes? Do you really think you’ll get your deposit back when you move to another place?”  Sesshomaru  chuckled, reminiscing of the days when InuYasha and he shared an apartment.

”Well…what can I say…sometimes, my demon half surpasses my human half…which takes over my lower half!” Giving his crude humor applause, InuYasha laughed. Sesshomaru turned bright red. He usually didn’t kiss and tell of his sexual exploits, maintaining his code of a true gentleman, but when it came to sex, bedding a demon was the bee’s knees.

”And speaking of lower half…back to my original question;  did you forget to clear out your browser history on your old laptop or did you just leave me your heirlooms?” InuYasha pressed, adjusting the sleeve of his black, fitted Calvin Klein button down with cranberry stitching. Sesshomaru had a penchant for new computers and would often give his older machines to InuYasha. Because his studies at Nagoya University  were centered in Information Culture, the older Taisho had to stay abreast of the latest technology. Nothing in life stayed the same, especially software updates.

”In my haste, indeed, I forgot to clear the history little brother,” Sesshomaru assured with a wave of his hand. “But as I live my new, boring life here in Nagoya, staring at virus scans and malware protection software, I hope you will find the remnants…educational.”



” I ain't no glamor boy, I'm fierce…I ain't no glamor boy…I ain't no glamor boy, I'm fierce…I ain't no glamor boy…”

Sesshomaru smiled at the bevy of girls who were privy to come closer to the stage to politely hand him their earnings for the week, possibly their entire rent checks. He usually preferred it this way, and rewarded the women with a stroke to the cheek, making them gasp and melt with desire. It was a wondrous ego boost, the adoration in their eyes when they handed him the money, sealing a silent promise he would rule their wallets and their dreams that night.

Dancing to the other end of the stage, sweat trickling down the length of his torso, his lower half reduced to a pair of grey, silky boxer briefs, boasting a tease of a well-toned bum, Sesshomaru got on one knee, his hand ready to receive a fan of singles from an extremely lovely young woman.

”Konbawa, he-bitch.”

” The glamor boys don't think tomorrow…The glamor boys just need tonight to play…But just like things you can't afford on credit…Time catches up and you have to pay…”

’He-bitch? Only one person had ever dared called me that.’ Taking a better look, through the blinking of strobes, a pair of beautiful pale blue eyes, bright against the contrast of golden-brown skin, dark locks silky, framing a gorgeous face, broke his dancer daze.

’Kuso…is that Natari. It can’t be?’ he thought, as she smiled casually, showing him the fan of bills, urging him with a wave to take a few , her thumb at the base maintaining control. Sesshomaru  nodded, taking only three, slowly each time, watching her reaction. He didn’t want to appear presumptuous. Part of him wanted so badly to stop his routine and talk to her, ask her how she was doing, maybe even sneak a kiss “hello” but there had been so much time of no communication and it was against club rules for personal contact while in “ uniform”.

” The glamor boys are always on the guest list…You'll always find them in the hottest spots in town…They'll be your friend if you have fame or fortune…If you don't they won't be hanging 'round…”

Crossing her arms over her chest, Natari observed as Sesshomaru placed the money in the waistband of his boxer briefs, his body no less than physical perfection. Placing his palms flat on the stage, Sesshomaru smirked, hoping to entice her, hoping to bring back the bright smile that had faded from her face rather quickly.

’Who is this person?’ Natari thought, smirking, scratching behind her ear, her body temperature growing incensed from the amount of alcohol in her system.  ‘I don’t recognize him anymore.’ Even though the AC had been turned up several notches to accommodate the burning lights the dancers performed under, Tata still fanned herself, her armpits feeling moist.

Sesshomaru, thinking her gestures were in response to him gyrating his pelvis against the shiny stage floor, making love to it, grinned haughtily, a mask he wore to keep his image intact. Dancing showed no favorites, no partiality. Sure, one would whisper a few syrupy comments in a woman’s ear, but that was all for equity. It was never personal.

” I ain't no glamor boy, I'm fierce…I ain't no glamor boy…I ain't no glamor boy, I'm fierce…I ain't no glamor boy, yeah yeah…”Sesshomaru sang to Tata. Tata chuckled, licking her lips, still in disbelief at what she was seeing.  This couldn’t be the same Sesshomaru she had met in Nagoya with InuYasha and Kagome. Just couldn’t be.

With a nod of her head, the rest of the money still in her hand, Natari spun on her heel, leaving Sesshomaru a glimpse of her ass encased in a very fitted white bandage dress, her white, gladiator heels, boasting angel wings. The length of her dark hair trailed behind her, the breeze from the AC making it feather as if in a dream.

Sesshomaru  shook his head, breaking his daze. He couldn’t put all his focus on her…with another swift shake of his head, like a panther, he prowled to the other side of the stage, one hand outstretched, ready to receive…read y to give. Natari, going back to her seat, feeling many hands brush against her in congratulatory pats, hearing “You go girl” and other such generic, overused phrases to describe her good fortune, shook her head in incredulity, nearing the table where Kagome was waiting.

”How was that for you?” asked Kagome, when Natari plopped downvinto the chair, noticing a fresh drink at her place on the table. “He only took three bills,” Tata shrugged, taking a quick sip, staring toward the stage. “Did you order this?” she asked. “Cuz I swear you cut me off.”

”Nai. The waiter said it was on the house,” Kagome answered, pulling a srang of dark hair behind her ear. “Do you know someone here?”


Sesshomaru was standing to his full, imposing height, now, women screaming, even throwing their funky panties at him.  InuYasha’s aniki was definitely displaying behaviors that Natari had warned women to watch out for in her book.

”Since when does he-bitch need the approval  from so many women? His confidence was usually his most redeeming quality,” Tata remarked, licking the sweet taste of liquor from her lips, setting down the money in front of her. “He’s definitely putting on a good show. Almost had me convinced for a moment when he was dry-humping the stage. Guess he does have balls after all.”

Kagome, checking her phone, shook her head. ”You’re doing it again, Tata,” she warned, her brow crooked.

“Nani? Fuck, what am I doing?” Natari asked, her eyes wide. “Damn, this drink is a little strong.”

”You’re thinking about work again…you’re psychoanalyzing Sesshomaru while he’s doing what he enjoys. You don’t have to question everything a man does,” Kagome explained with a sigh. “For once, just fucking enjoy yourself. I brought you here to meet someone that just might knock the dust off those panties of yours so you can loosen the fuck up and knock down that huge boulder on your shoulder.”

”Fine…Gomen nasai,” Tata answered, taking another sip of her strong drink. Ironically, she couldn’t remember if she was even wearing panties or not.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$  
Lyrics: “Glamour Boy” by Living Colour

Walls- Ch. 3
Poor Natari, when she gets a bit of alcohol in her...maybe she's been working too hard. I mean really, who goes to a strip club to complain?

InuYasha and characters owned by Rumiko Takahashi
OC Natari owned by me 
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Thank You Van Heist by missmjwilson
Thank You Van Heist
I wanted to thank :iconvanheist: for creating Bomango. Not only does Gogo make me bust out into incredible bouts of laughter, she motivated me to compete again. I was still working out but I missed the extra muscle tone. And since I don't have any friends out here in the real world or much of a social life, keeping my focus in the gym will be no problem. I go in early in the a.m., hours before work, so when I step into the "Dungeon of Doom", nothing really fazes me like it used to.  I may never, EVER be able to please another person or the corporate jerks but at the end of the day, I got me. Gogo has helped me realize just how powerful I really am, and like her, I am not really afraid of much :)  
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missmjwilson
Everybody's Onii-sama
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
United States
Follow me on Twitter: @MissJayna
missmjwilson.tumblr.com/


According to my okaa-san, I started drawing at the age of 18 months. She still has my first piece of artwork in the family album in our old house. i used to draw comics based on my favorite Saturday morning cartoons like "Jem" and"Ghostbusters" and basically just drew all the time. I also designed fashion when I was a teenager. I started writing fanfics in 2002 for other fandoms and am happily writing fanfics on deviant art :)

What are you're favorite makeup brands?
- In no particular order: IT Cosmetics, MAC, Kat Von D, Urban Decay and NYX.

Favorite haircare brands?
-TIGI BedHead, Big Sexy Hair, Nexxus, Paul Mitchell, Kinky Curly, Design Essentials and Redken

Favorite Skin Care line?
-This is dependent on the client's skin care needs and I use products prescribed by my Dermatologist

How do you plan your commissions?
I have to really analyze and judge just how important the scene will be visually. I m also inspired by music, culture and colors. There is always some type of symbolism in all of the pieces I commission.

Are your OC's based on you?
-Actually, my Oc's are based on women that I wish I WAS when I was there age(s). I wish I had the confidence they had...not to mention their wealth.

Are you gonna model anytime soon?

Will you compete in bodybuilding/figure again?
-Probably! It's a little tough to get a workout in nowadays, but i haven't abandoned the weights, trust me. In fact I go mall walking early in the morning with the senior citizens

How many piercings are in your navel?
-6


Dislikes?
-Living in the country, mosquitos, fleas, roaches, racist people who try to fake it, people who are rude for no reason, people who walk slow in front of me when i have to pee, acne, acne scars, people who dont wipe off their sweat on the gym equipment, and people with no sense of humor.

-Likes?

My momma, my cats, my Kindle Fire, my fanfics, my devart friends, my earring collections, my hair when it's red, plums, sakura blossoms, waterproof black liquid eyeliner, Kat Von D, makeup, and bright colors.


Current Residence: North Carolina
deviantWEAR sizing preference: small
Print preference: smallest
Favourite genre of music: All types
Favourite photographer: Too many to name
Favourite style of art: Renaissance, Comic, Semi-Realism, Manga, Makeup artistry
Operating System: Windows 7
MP3 player of choice: Ipod
Shell of choice: Cheetah print!
Skin of choice: Smooth, not hairy
Favourite cartoon/anime character: Jem!!!!! Thundercats! Kouga!
Personal Quote: what now? kthankxbye!
Interests

Where Does Inspiration Really Come From?

Journal Entry: Sun Sep 21, 2014, 4:18 AM



Hello all! 

Well my life is boring except for workouts. I am seeing better results now, than I did when I was in college going to the gym three times a day, six days a week. Work is work...still scrounging for customers and still helping who  can. I am also reading this book called " Nice Girls Don't Get Rich- 75 Avoidable Mistakes Women Make with Money" by Lois P. Frankel. It is helping me out alot. It's a darn shame that women are taught to basically let men handle all the finances and we are not "great" at math and all that other stuff. I believe women are capable of being financially stable without a man if they don't act on emotion and always consider the long-term and not the impulse. When I was going through my divorce, and hell, even through my marriage, I shopped, I wont lie. I had just graduated college and was working two jobs, and I needed appropriate clothing for my two jobs. I had more money BEFORE I got married. Had I known that  my husband was gonna play the role of gold-digger, I NEVER would have gotten married.  I will admit, I learned very valuable lessons from him and my independence is now considered a threat. Oh well. You have to be prepared for ANYTHING nowadays. You never know when the government is gonna cut spending, if your job is gonna lay you off, if you're gonna get sick, hurt, or in my case robbed...you just have to think like Scar and BE PREPARED. Don't let your emotions make you go broke, young lions! 

And speaking of Lions, my mother and I paid a visit to my father the other day. I have been better about calling him more, because he is getting older and I am not getting nay younger. Alot of things about his side of the family were FINALLY revealed to me when they came to visit us from DC/Maryland (they are really from Detroit).  When my father was a child, his own parents got divorced. His father, went off with another woman. My paternal Grandmother, Bernice, was living in the basement of her sister's house with my father and his sister. My father would get very sick int he wintertime and Bernie didn't want her children to grow up that way. She wanted better for them, so she found my Grandfather, who was living in a beautiful, healthy home to take the children, for the better of their well-being. Well, my father was under the impression that my Grandma just "gave " him and his sister, my Aunt Gwen  up. SO My Dad just really didn't have the greatest attitude towards women. My mom was his fourth wife and he was a bit of a playboy. However, he has built several, beautiful homes and served in the military ( Vietnam). He is a wonderful artist and very, very intelligent. He is also a smart ass, like me, and can cut you down quickly.

When this was finally explained to me, everything finally made some damn sense. I had long gotten over the resentment I felt for him leaving my mom the way he did when I was two, but as I got older I realized that I can't be angry for something that had nothing to do with me. Mom and Dad are two very different people and I am who I am.  They are friends, and he still even flirts with mom. She has her own feeling about certain things, but I have told her that she needs to let it go. What' done is done. When I walked around his house the other day ( he built it) I took pictures of a Venus de Milo statue that he carved from wood, sanded, and painted black topped with a clear coat when he was stationed in Hawaii. There are several other sculptures that he has created. He can also make stuff from formica and marble which is very impressive to me. I get my artistic talent from him, and my love of reading and writing from my mother. I am very fortunate to have yin-yang parents when for years I thought I was disadvantage from coming from a broken home. Also, the fact that I have never had a real "relationship" with a guy considering how old I am made me feel pretty shitty, too, and having jobs that always seem to NOT appreciate my hard work were a kick to my self-esteem.

Having the time spent in listening to him talk about the things he's created, the time he's put into it...how it pleases HIM, made me re-think a whole lot of things.  Whenever I take breaks from writing, it's one of two things: either no one's reading or commenting, or I have a really bad case of writing block. I've had to re-evaluate where my inspiration was coming from. I had to re-watched the many different anime series that my fanfics come from...it was my PERSONAL FEELINGS and reactions to the characters that inspired my writing, in the same manner that my father made a sculpture or a house. It was his own feelings, his own happiness that pushed him to continue. True, it's cool when people like your stuff; it thrills me when I get a request for updates, and   
feedback on chapters. But at the end of the day, what I write reflects what unique images and scenarios are gong thru my mind...and it's my mind alone. You can agree or disagree with what I write and it's okay...it's really okay! Because at the end of the day, it's y happiness that matters.

Even at the job, they try to pressure me with "what the company thins" and all that blah blah blah, and they form cliques and all that utter nonsense. but I am there to share my talent and knowledge with people who may or may not have any idea about skincare and makeup and also help them feel a bit better  about themselves. And as far as money is concerned, no, I don't make what I feel I deserve, but I know I will not be working there forever, being underpaid an unappreciated. There is more out there! 

It's amazing how one little visit opened so  many ideas :) 



  

Shoutbox

TeddyBlackBear2040:iconteddyblackbear2040:
Hey Beautiful Whats upp and how was your easter
Tue Apr 22, 2014, 7:21 PM
ALLSTAR5555:iconallstar5555:
You are truly one extraordinary woman with a great heart. Take care :love:
Fri Apr 18, 2014, 10:42 AM
missmjwilson:iconmissmjwilson:
thank you! but all the artwork is commissions! i just write!
Thu Apr 17, 2014, 6:06 PM
Clauderemus:iconclauderemus:
You are very beautiful and so are your work!!
Thu Apr 17, 2014, 12:27 AM
Clauderemus:iconclauderemus:
You are very beautiful and so are your work!
Thu Apr 17, 2014, 12:25 AM
NKOSI-Publishing:iconnkosi-publishing:
Thanks for the Watch!! Check me out here too! :) www.cedpharaoh.com
Fri Aug 9, 2013, 2:44 PM
Kenichi2point0:iconkenichi2point0:
:hug:
Sun May 12, 2013, 9:08 PM
missmjwilson:iconmissmjwilson:
Thank you :)
Mon Apr 1, 2013, 7:03 PM
giolove1:icongiolove1:
Beautuful and cool too? Happy Birthday Ma!!!!!
Mon Apr 1, 2013, 1:59 PM
giolove1:icongiolove1:
Hey Ma! Whats up!!!!
Sun Jan 6, 2013, 10:33 PM
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:iconwhite-rose-brian:
White-Rose-Brian Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2014   Digital Artist
I actually wanted to leave a greeting on your blog on Tumblr, but I didn't see a link for an question form.
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:iconmissmjwilson:
missmjwilson Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I'm still trying to figure that thing out ...
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:iconarielniweihuang:
arielniweihuang Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2014  Professional Digital Artist
Thank you for the watch hon, have a bloomin' fantastic day!
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:iconteddyblackbear2040:
TeddyBlackBear2040 Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2014  Student Digital Artist
Oh I love Cats!!!!
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:iconteddyblackbear2040:
TeddyBlackBear2040 Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2014  Student Digital Artist
Thank You So Much For Adding Me To Your Watch PS you are so cute!!!
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:iconmaya1121:
Maya1121 Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Hi! How have you been? It's been a while~ ^^
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:iconmissmjwilson:
missmjwilson Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Pretty good, just been busy writing, working out and dealing with the monkeys at that circus i call "work".
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:iconmaya1121:
Maya1121 Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
That's good to hear ^^
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:iconjoehentai:
JoeHentai Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2014
Wow! Hybrid benders, Beverly Hills Teen fan fiction, Year of the Cat. Gotta draw one of your characters. (cause they're cool,and all) Watch the skies.
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:iconmissmjwilson:
missmjwilson Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
:)
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